a great twitter account about awful OKC messages, what else do you need? please take a look and follow!
I get a lot of messages asking me strange things, and a lot of messages asking me typical surface topics. I think I’m getting a little irritated with OKC in general because I feel myself nit-picking every single message that I get. I don’t have any reason to hate on these guys, but I can’t help but feel like they are being disingenuous. But the truth of the mater is that I don’t know any of these guys and maybe they are actually interested in what I do in my spare time? (Probably Not.) (Nope Not At ALL.)
The messages that I tend to get the most entertainment out of are the ones from men that have No Shame. They don’t offend me, and usually I get them when I’m out with friends and we have a good laugh. These guys must know that’s what I’m doing, right? I still don’t understand why they would think it’s okay to send them out, but I get them. Usually they sit in my inbox and I forget about them in a few days. I don’t want to interact with these types of people. But one night, I got a short and simple to the point message. Normally I would read, and ignore. But I just had to, I had to respond. I sent a screenshot to my friends and asked “what should i say?” I replied with my favorite one. It’s kind of NSFW so proceed with caution my friends:
I ended up falling asleep after sending the second reply, and decided not to reply any further the next day. I don’t intend on seeing someone like this in real life, let alone actually answering this question seriously to a stranger online.
I haven’t gotten any more messages from this guy, and it’s been awhile. I hope he got the picture. I almost feel like I need to respond to these messages and let them know how awful they are being. “You’re not going to get anything if you keep this up.” But I know it is pointless.
A friend asked me for advice, asking me what sort of messages I respond to on OKC. Honestly, there isn’t a “type.” I just chose what I am attracted to based on photos or creativity in the message. I don’t know exactly how you can tailor a message for a response from a girl, because honestly I can only say what I like. And as we’ve all learned, I am incredibly picky about the types of messages I get.
I realize that being a dude on an online dating site is incredibly different for a girl. I’m literally swatting away men like annoying bees and a man’s profile is the lonely unpollinated flower. What I’m saying is: I cannot help you. Good luck out there, boys.
I don’t know if I have become disinterested with okc in general or if I am just not giving certain dudes a chance OR if there are none worthwhile, but I haven’t responded to a message in over a month. I still get messages on a daily basis, and none are ever very interesting. I don’t know what I really qualify as interesting but it is definitely something more than “hey there.” Seriously, that in itself pisses me off more than anything. And I’ll probably continue to reference it in every blog post from now on.
So I get the messages on my phone, and I have this bad habit of reading them once and forgetting about them. Like I said, they are usually NOT memorable. So when I got this message:
I literally read this and shrugged my shoulders at the message. I didn’t even visit his profile. I’m not going to go on a date with someone who writes like a teen and puts a space between his smiley face. I have Standards or whatever. I checked where he was from and it was too far to even bother. I left it alone.
I’ve gotten a few more messages after this one, one from a guy who asked me what I liked to draw. He deleted his profile the next day. Another a few days later that was one of the strangest I’ve received.
I’ve gotten weird messages before, but I think this one takes the trophy. (so far.) What kind of girl would reply to this message? Why would he think this would be a message I would reply to? I am pretty sure I am going to have more questions about men after this than before. I didn’t reply to him, but maybe I will. Something clever perhaps.
So for the next few days I didn’t get any thing really, and today I got a message. I was like, oh cool. great. awesome. message on okc, wonder what creep is going to talk to me now. I read it and it seemed…familiar.
NOT EVEN TWO WEEKS LATER. Ten days. I wonder if he forgot he had already messaged me? I feel like my profile is kind of memorable. Maybe not. Maybe my face is? Or isn’t. I’m not sure. I didn’t think this upon receiving the first message, but now I realize he is One Of Those. He copies and pastes this message, to any girl he wants. And ladies, you keep falling for it! I know that for a fact because otherwise he wouldn’t be doing it. UGH. im hella frustrated that a man as dumb as this can be even more dumb : (
There are dudes who have continued to message me, even if I don’t reply. Dudes who I’ve talked to a bit and they check up on me. But never a repeat. Never a repeat.
If I had to describe my OKC right now, I would say it is in a slump. I have not gotten a whole lot of creepy messages, I haven’t found a whole lot of dudes that are worth trying to go out with. I have changed my profile a bit, added a photo of me in a fake mustache, (which I ended up removing, because I did not get any messages when I had it up,) and still, I have come up kind of dry.
So, I added some more, “bait” if you will, to my “You Should Message Me If…” area. I broadened my reasons to include:
if you have a cool mustache
if you know of any new music i would like
if you have something interesting to say
if you don’t have something interesting to say
if you own a cat
This was a good idea because I got lots of messages (read: five or six,) sending me links to cool songs. Eventually I got a message from a guy who sent me a pretty cool song. I enjoyed it, and replied. I still don’t reply to a whole lot of messages because I am not about to have the same conversation with 189 other dudes. I Have Standards.
I replied, he replied, we exchanged a few messages. This guy seemed like a Pretty Cool Dude and I was genuinely interested in meeting him. I was enjoying our conversations and exchanging music. He asked me to lunch, and I said yes. I was looking forward to it. I sent him my phone number so we could make plans. Two days went by and I got this message.
NOW. I am going to write something that you may or may not believe: I had no intention to blog about this particular person. I don’t know why, but the thought never entered my head.
Over the exchange of messages we learned that we had some things in common, and so when we had the discussion of possibly knowing mutual people, having this blog was not a thought of mine. I assumed he would ask around, as did I. (I did not find any mutual acquaintances.)
Apparently he had, and that acquaintance informed him of my twitter and blog. I do not know who this person is, nor am I upset that they directed him to my online life. I am not trying to hide anything, and I have no shame in what I am doing. I also do not think I have done anything wrong in this quest on OKC.
I was surprised when I got this message, and although I have a hard time with not knowing the details of what I have written/posted that has made him not interested, I do understand. Perhaps I am crossing a line by posting this about him. He is probably reading it. If you are, I’m probably a little sorry but not really.
Moral of the story: don’t make friends with people who have big mouths.
I haven’t gotten a whole lot of messages that have “sparked” my interest. I have shared the worst of the worst with you on here already, and I don’t think those are ever going to stop. I have tons of simple boring messages that range from a simple “hi” to “hey there” or my favorite “hi i’m mike i love ur red hair hit me up sometime.” I don’t think men are generally creative but I do expect effort at least.
I have the OKC app on my phone so I get a notification whenever I get a message. I usually check them pretty quickly unless I’m either asleep or at work. The other night when I was at home not doing anything, my phone buzzed at around 12:09am. I left my phone where it was. Came back to it about forty minutes later.
Saw this message:
Out of every single freaking message I have gotten from this website this is absolutely my favorite message. I just like it. He made me laugh, he seemed like a cool guy.
Until I realized he deleted his profile. Who does that? Who sends a cool message such as this one, asking excitedly “Did I pass?!” and then deleted their profile an hour later? I want to say I’m disappointed but this is OKC and I should be prepared for that.
Anonymous said: Do you like pickles?
jonnytruelove said: have any pics of you?
I think you have my blog and my OKC profile mixed up
Anonymous said: how come you're so awesome like that
wow haha this makes me blush you’re real nice
i don’t know why i am i guess i just am
This is the third dude from high school that has messaged me on okc since I’ve had it. They visited my profile a few times. As soon as I saw them I anticipated a message, but hoped for otherwise.
This is awful. Because now when I run into this person irl, he’ll probably bring up this message and I’ll have to stand there awkwardly and explain either why I didn’t reply or lie and say I never got it.
I know I’ll see him again, he works by me. This is stressful you guys. Maybe because I’m running on such little sleep. Should I just reply and be nice?
I don’t spend a whole lot of time on the website, mostly because I kind of find it depressing. But tonight I learned you can search by keywords. So of course I typed in my favorite key word.
SO MANY RESULTS. But this dude came up. And we were a 90% match. And this mustache, you guys.
so I messaged him. I just said I liked his ‘stache. Nothing else matters really.